Dear Diary, Wedding

Our Wedding: The Engagement Ring

Let’s start with… we’ve been engaged for many many years now and he proposed without a ring (he used a page from my Wreck This Journal – the “Lose This Page” page). I had a ring that I received from my uncle’s sister that I was thinking it could be my engagement ring, but it wasn’t really my style (although it’s a really pretty ring).

But at the same time I have very mixed feelings over engagement rings.

What is the meaning of it? Does it mean “this woman is someone’s property now” or is the engagement ring the price the groom has to pay for the bride? Or am I overthinking this and in this day and age, when love has no gender, a ring is just a promise or symbol of love?

Overthinking is my constant state of being, so why am I even asking this? The point is, until last month, I did not wear an engagement ring. And it wasn’t just because I was overthinking it. It’s more because I don’t really wear jewellery – although I did notice that I kinda want to now, and I want to invest more in pieces of jewellery that I absolutely love and that… spark joy.

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Diamonds are a girl’s best friends, right? The idea of this post actually came after I saw a short documentary on diamonds (Explained, on Netflix) and learnt about this whole marketing scheme of diamonds meaning love and how diamonds came to be the go-to gemstone for engagement ring. When I started the search for the perfect engagement ring for me (once my mind stopped questioning the hidden meaning of an engagement ring and only saw it as a pretty thing  to wear and that would make me think of my hubby whenever I look at it), I was bombarded with diamond rings. On all sites, in the category of engagement rings you can only find diamond rings – and none worked for me. Don’t get me wrong, diamonds are pretty and I wouldn’t mind to have a cute pair of diamond earrings, but none of the engagement rings… sparked joy.

Then one random day, on my way to the cinema I decided to enter a jewellery shop. I always say it’s my favourite jewellery shop although until recently I never had anything from them, but I was saying that because they are a Romanian brand and shopping locally (even for gemstones apparently) is important to me.

So, I quickly pop into the shop thinking that if I see these engagement rings in real life I might feel differently about them, but my eyes stop on a small ruby ring and… it’s love at first sight! Funny story – I actually have a cheap ring bought from H&M that was similar to it (only the metal is not gold, not even silver, and the stones were plastic), but there it was: a precious ring, not marketed as an engagement ring, but perfect for me.

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On 25th, the ring was under the Christmas tree, nicely wrapped. It makes me smile. I do not understand why I feel this way over a piece of jewellery, but it sparks joy. It also sets the tone for our wedding: we are doing things our way, everything will be about us, as it should be.

At the time I saw it I did not think if a wedding band will go with it, but we are still not sure if we want to do wedding bands (hubby will definitely not wear his), but… well, I guess I will tell you what we decide to do about that in another post about the wedding!

Next time we will probably talk about how this wedding planning started and the location!

Thank you for reading!

9 thoughts on “Our Wedding: The Engagement Ring”

  1. I am also not a big fan of diamond rings, I think they are too chunky and not feminine. To be honest I am not a fan of wedding or engagements at all but I would be fine with any ring my guy decides on. If I have to do a wedding then I would do it like you, do it however I want it. 🙂 Also I am not religious so I would rather skip all the church stuff.

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  2. Awww such a pretty ring!! 😍 What I don’t quite get, is how you NEED to wear both – like, could you just wear the wedding band on it’s own? And either put the engagement one in a necklace or on a display at home/give to your kids later in life..?

    I love that you do this for both of you your way, that’s the road to success! 💕

    For me the rings are just a symbol, which I guess could be anything – not just rings (ive seen that before). Not needed to say anything to the outside world, but to show them proudly that i’m his and he’s be mine. I guess kind of like a reminder that you shall never be alone in time of adversity now!
    (Which- I found out im so NOT okay with changing my last name for his. My last name has this acadian culture in it, which my ex’s didn’t had, and it felt like I was losing part of my identity; enough that I felt needed to tattoo my last name on me, aswell as my acadian flag. Just in case, but we broke up xd)

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  3. This was a lovely story and I like that you are doing things your way and that is what is for the best 🙂 No one else gets to decree how you should be able to do your wedding and marriage and engagement!

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    1. It’s my favourite part of wedding planning – that I finally stopped caring about expectations and just plan a wedding for us, about us. If the groom wants to wear jeans, well he will wear jeans – and I am wearing white sneakers from start to finish. Ha ha!

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  4. I loved reading this story and your thoughts on the subject of these rings. I honestly think that as you said, now more than anything the rings are a simple (or elaborate) display of love and the bond you have. Although they most definitely meant in earlier periods that you ‘belonged to someone’. And that is what is great about traditions and societal expectations, they can grow and change as our thinking does the same. Your ring is beautiful, but I also love that he proposed with the journal page as the ring!

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    1. Yes, the actual proposal with the journal page is my favourite part too and it’s much more like us than a ring proposal. But I love the ring too, especially since it’s more my style and not a traditional diamond ring.

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  5. I feel like sometimes we let societal expectations shape us or influence us so much, but there’s no law that says things have to be done a certain way! I think it’s awesome you guys are doing what works for you. Congrats!!

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